making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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