Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
