the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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