If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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