i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
