So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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