i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
