I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
