What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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