please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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