there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
