i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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