hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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