Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
