How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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