Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I didn't notice because vodka
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
