No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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