I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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