just survived the first fart of the relationship.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
