All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
