Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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