I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
