At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
