At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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