he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
