I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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