dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There r osticjed everywhere
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
