Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
