so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
