my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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