I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
