and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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