well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
