haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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