it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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