yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
