If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
