i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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