I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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