What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
