also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
