actually, I'm a sock model
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my sisters under your porch take her home
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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