I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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