I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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