in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
