Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
