Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
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