Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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