Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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