uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
