Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
