I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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