Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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