It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just want to make out with him forever
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
