I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
