last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
