I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
