That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
