I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
