I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
