Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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