Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
