I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
