My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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