It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
