I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
